I can’t believe my baby is ONE MONTH old today. On July 6th at 9:32am….my sweet Ezra Reed Trontel was welcomed into our world. Weighing in at 8.9 pounds and 21 1/4 inches long. As I was approaching my final push….I remember thinking that I was just moments away from my son being placed on my chest. This is a scene that we have all seen….and it was about to happen to me! So surreal.
This story wouldn’t be complete without sharing that Reed and I had tried to start a family of our own for 3+ years. We weren’t being die hard about it, but it started to cross my mind that maybe we wouldn’t be able to have children of our own. Out of fear and every other wrong intention…I started to entertain the idea of adoption. I started to think this was my free ticket out of having to deal with greater fears such as childbirth. God obviously had other plans…..
When I first found out that I was pregnant I was gripped with fear. Fear of something being wrong with me. Fear of all the doctor visits. Fear of any and all needles and blood work. You name it….I was a afraid of it. When I thought about my labor and delivery….my plan was to be drugged up as soon as I walked through the hospital doors. I didn’t want to feel pain.
Well, God did a mighty work in me during my 9 months of pregnancy. I faced many of my fears and crushed fear beneath my feet at every doctor visit and prick from a needle. I experienced freedom like never before as I walked out this season out. Little did I know that this baby inside of me was being used by God to show me a side of Him that I was not experiencing. The biggest lesson learned was to TRUST. Did I really TRUST God? Did I really believe His promises….to never leave or forsake me?
My heart began to change in regards to my birth plan. I went from wanting to control the situation- to trusting my body to do what it was CREATED FOR. Whether this meant “all natural” or “non-medicated” or “epidural” or “c-section”….God was in control and all that I was being asked to do was to TRUST.
So, that was my plan. To trust God and the body He gave me….
My water broke on the 4th of July while we were at a friends house enjoying a BBQ and fantastic firework show! I’m all about a party…and I wasn’t quite ready to leave yet, but baby had other plans. It was about 11pm when I called the doctor and she said to come on in…..we arrived around midnight and it was confirmed that my water had broke and I was not going anywhere until baby made his arrival!
[4th of July: oh my! im HUGE!]
Long story short…I slept through the night and woke up the next morning- still no contractions. WHAT?!? So my nurse suggested we get up and at it and do whatever it takes to get this labor going. So, I ended up walking a total of 4+ miles around the hospital….yes, in my gown….along with doing jumping jacks and lunges. Still, no contractions. I was OK….I was not anxious or worrying about what to do next. I knew I was in good hands. My doctor would stop by through out the day to check in on me and around 5pm she made the executive decision that if I was not progressing into active labor around 11pm then I would need to start pitocin. When your water breaks you have between 24-36 hours to deliver your baby and my doctor is on the 36 hour side of things and she knew that we needed to do something, unless I was willing to risk needing a c-section.
11pm approached and I indeed needed pitocin to get this labor started! Man, that stuff works! It didn’t take long for my body to react and I finally started feeling contractions. If I were to do this all over again…I would order an epidural along with the pitocin, but we didn’t. However, after a few hours of Reed witnessing my pain he asked if I wanted an epidural. YES and THANK YOU! Unfortunately, the anesthesiologist was unable to see me for an hour….AWESOME! When he arrived- I was ready. At this point I was exhausted from the day that I didn’t even feel the needle go through my back! SERIOUSLY?!? Such a God thing- again, no pain and no fear. The epidural is what I always feared most, especially having limp legs….which I also didn’t ever notice!
It was around 6:30am when it became GO TIME! I was so blessed to have my amazing doctor, favorite nurse and husband by my side. I wouldn’t have had it any other way. Each person knew how incredibly important this day was- not only because my son was to be born, but I was facing a life long fear and they were there to help me through it. My doctor was AMAZING….and did everything in her power to deliver our baby as smooth and non-dramatic as possible. We were cutting close on time….and baby Ezra was a BIG BOY!!!
At 9:32am I heard my sons cry and he was placed on my chest. I immediately looked at Reed and at that very moment- I felt complete. This is what life is about.
The story behind Ezra’s name:: I was talking with my aunt Vicki early on in my pregnancy and was just sharing with her how the Lord had literally brought me through so much, while revealing new things about Him every day. I also shared that I felt the timing of our pregnancy was nothing short than perfect. Reed and I had tried on and off for about 3 years to conceive and in October 2011 it just happened…
We went on to talk about how 2010 was a year of ashes- of pain– of loss, while 2011 was about beauty, and this pregnancy was part of that process. With our baby due in 2012 I had claimed this year to be a year of LIFE! As I look back on these two years…it’s amazing to see how God not only takes, but gives! He is a God of redemption. He makes all things new….and we are experiencing that now!
Before our telephone conversation ended- my aunt said “Isn’t it amazing how God is using a baby- an unborn baby- to help you.”
As Reed and I were thinking and praying about names- we came across the name EZRA, which means “GODS HELP.” Right then and there….we knew. Ezra would be the name of our son.
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[photo by Reed]
Dear Ezra,
You are the most beautiful blessing from God. You have changed your dads life, as well as mine…for the better and we can not imagine our life without you. You are only one month old, but have impacted our life in so many ways. To care for you…..I see glimpses of Gods love for me. As I hold you when you cry….I can’t help but think how our God responds to our tears. Oh I can only imagine the revelation that will come in the next days, weeks, years….I am so thankful to learn through you. You are most definitely Gods help….and I believe this on so many levels. Words can not describe my love for you…..
Love, momma.
